The New Immigration: Finding Our Way Back to Torah Wisdom in Marriage
When our ancestors came to America, they sought freedom and opportunity. Many worked 18-hour days, rolling cigars by the hundreds to build a better life. But in their rush to succeed, something precious was lost. They anglicized their names, moved away from Jewish neighborhoods, and compromised their children’s religious education—all to fit into American culture.
This pattern continues today but in a different form. We face what I call “the new immigration.” Instead of physically leaving our heritage behind, we abandon our Torah wisdom for false internet knowledge.
The Digital Exodus from Torah Wisdom
When a woman today wants to understand how to be a good wife, where does she turn? Not to her mother, grandmother, or rabbi—but to YouTube videos created by non-Jewish influencers or radical feminists who view marriage as a patriarchal institution that subordinates women and perpetuates inequality.
When a man seeks guidance on being a husband, he doesn’t consult Torah or his elders. He searches online and finds content promoting extreme views that degrade women, suggesting they are sex toys, inferior, or that a man should maintain psychological control over his wife.
This is the new immigration—not from Europe to America, but from Torah wisdom to internet falsehoods.
The Differences Between a Torah Approach and a Secular Approach Are Clear
When couples face marriage difficulties, they often turn in the wrong direction. They subscribe to popular podcasts with thousands of followers, absorbing advice that undermines the very foundation of a marriage.
These internet guides often teach that traditional roles are oppressive, that personal freedom trumps commitment, and that women should prioritize independence over family harmony. When a couple follows secular opinions, they are often told that marriage is unnecessary and unfulfilling. This is like building a house on sand instead of solid rock—it cannot withstand life’s storms.
Following Torah’s wisdom, they discover marriage as a divine partnership with a profound purpose that includes the deepest experience of personal satisfaction.
Following false guides often keeps couples trapped in cycles of conflict and resentment instead of building the loving, respectful relationship that Hashem intended for every home and is available to those who draw from Torah’s wellsprings of knowledge.
Finding Your Torah-True Teacher
Not everyone can directly extract the specific advice needed for their unique situation from Torah. This is why finding a knowledgeable guide who understands both Torah principles and practice and modern relationship dynamics is essential.
Through years of research and clinical experience, I’ve discovered that marriages guided by Torah principles are more stable, loving, and respectful. While I value and use secular relationship techniques to help couples connect, the Torah provides additional depth—a meaningful framework, direction for these methods, and the necessary insight to understand the differences between a man and a woman. This combination gives couples not just tools but a higher purpose and a more thorough understanding of how their relationship operates, leading to love, mutual respect, and a marriage that genuinely thrives over time.
I’ve witnessed remarkable transformations when Jewish and non-Jewish individuals adopt Torah perspectives on marriage. Couples move rapidly from conflict and despair to feeling safe, respected, and loved. Children who were once anxious about their parents’ relationship now thrive in a secure home environment.
Return to the Wellspring: Torah Wisdom for Today’s Modern Marriages
You don’t need to abandon your heritage to succeed in modern life. The wisdom that sustained our people for thousands of years can guide your marriage today. When you feel lost, don’t immigrate to the land of internet advice. Return to the wellspring of Torah wisdom, where you’ll find the guidance you truly need.
The path forward isn’t about discovering something new—it is about reclaiming something ancient and proven. Your ancestors didn’t sacrifice everything so their descendants could abandon the crown of Torah for the empty promises of false and harmful online gurus.
Return to your roots. Your marriage—and your children—will thank you.
