G-d said to the woman…

אֶל־הָאִשָּׁה אָמַר הַרְבָּה אַרְבֶּה עִצְּבוֹנֵךְ וְהֵרֹנֵךְ בְּעֶצֶב תֵּלְדִי בָנִים וְאֶל־אִישֵׁךְ תְּשׁוּקָתֵךְ וְהוּא יִמְשָׁל בָּךְ

This verse translates to: “To the woman He said, ‘I will greatly multiply your pain in childbirth, in pain, you will bring forth children, yet your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you (Bereshis, Perek 3, Pusuk 16).” From this Pusuk, we learn nine pearls of wisdom about relationships.

For men:

1. A woman’s romantic interests are naturally drawn towards her husband. Her romantic interests are likely stronger and more sustained than a man’s.
2. The Ramban, a classical Biblical scholar, explains that a woman cannot openly express her desire for intimacy partly due to an inner feeling of modesty. This puts her in a precarious position, wanting but not sharing her desire. This may appear to be disinterest, which it is not. Understanding the above requires that husbands take the lead in romance. This requirement is included in the kesubah (the Jewish marriage contract). Romance includes having a positive relationship, dating, and physical contact.
3. A wife’s attraction to her husband will be so pervasive that her dedication to him will go beyond what he deserves or could reasonably expect. Knowing this will lead to a deep gratitude for having a wife.
4. A wife is very focused on her husband due to her romantic interests. These interests are both emotional and physical. She is very sensitive to his opinions about her and her actions. She depends on her husband’s continual praise and appreciation to feel good about herself. Positive words are the primary way for a man to contribute to making for himself a loving life partner.
5.  A husband must give his wife enough love, attention, and respect. If he doesn’t, her self-esteem will break. She will no longer feel worthy of or desire a romantic relationship with him. When a woman feels her husband treasures her, she will be dedicated and available to him in every way possible—including sexually. A husband must take responsibility for treating his wife so that she feels ‘treasured’ by him.

For women:

1. There is no shame for a woman to have strong romantic desires to be with her husband. Judaism requires and promotes emotional and physical romance.
2. A woman does not have the confidence and comfort to arrange romantic moments with her husband directly. Therefore, she must flirt with him to get his attention and inform him of her romantic desire to be with him. Sometimes, a wife should find creative ways to tell her husband about her romantic desires.
3. Women have two primary ways to be attractive to a man: emotionally attractive and physically attractive. She must be kind, respectful, and appreciative and present herself to him as healthy, clean, and put-together. The more a woman archives in both categories, the more her husband will desire her. The above should be at the forefront of a wife’s mind each day. One way or another, Impressions can last very long and are often difficult to change.
4. A husband wants to be needed by his wife. When a wife avoids criticizing her husband, asks him for an opinion and help, and praises him for his efforts, he will feel he is her hero. As a ‘hero,’ he will feel close to his wife. Feeling close to his wife arouses his natural sexual desires, and he will seek romantic time with her. When a wife treats her husband as a hero, she brings the best out of him.

These relationship tips have been extracted from the above Pusuk. The Torah (the Jewish Bible and its commentaries) contains unlimited additional relationship pearls of wisdom. The Torah is the blueprint of the world. Regarding relationships, the Torah offers superior guidance than today’s psychology, psychiatry, or fads.

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* The above insight and wisdom is based primarily on commentary by the Rashi and the Ramban.