From Tension To Tenderness: The Power Of Unconditional Kindness
When tension fills your marriage, try the “Caring Days” exercise to rebuild goodwill. You and your partner are to write lists of small ways to please each other—perhaps saying good morning, bringing flowers, or taking evening walks together. Exchange these lists, then offer each other several caring behaviors daily, regardless of current feelings. These are gifts with no strings attached.
Research shows that couples who practice this for one week experience a significant improvement in their feelings toward each other. You’ll experience your partner as nurturing while soothing painful injuries with positive actions.
The “Caring Days” exercise helps eliminate destructive tit-for-tat thinking that can polarize relationships.
When you give without regard to your momentary feelings, you create a loving environment where positive feelings naturally follow. Let your actions lead the way forward. One of the most memorable pieces of advice that the Lubavitcher Rebbe frequently gave to most problems presented to him was that “taking action is essential to the solution.”
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