Good Wife
Mark and Pam had only been married for two months and already needed marriage help. And if they didn’t get the right marriage advice quickly, they would likely end up hating each other and probably divorced. Here is why:
True to life vignette of two newlyweds
Mark told Pam he wanted his college buddies to join him for a birthday celebration. Pam, wanting to please him, eagerly agreed. She took the better part of a day preparing sandwiches, cakes, and other snacks. The day came. Mark and his friends had a great time. Mark failed to thank Pam for her efforts. She felt used.
Mark told Pam that she spent too much time on the phone. Pam decided Mark needed more attention, so she quickly got off the phone when he came home in the evening. Even though she tried to accommodate Mark, he felt disrespected, having to rush off the phone. Mark had opinions on almost every subject. He even taught Pam how to “correctly” cut tomatoes. She felt Mark was treating her as if she was a child.
Pam wanted to make Mark “happy,” so she soldiered on, but it was difficult. Slowly, Pam’s “marital bliss” slipped away. She ate to comfort her upset feelings. Angrily, Mark told her to go on a diet! She felt unattractive in his eyes. Pam resented Mark’s selfish demands. She was hurt that he did not seem to care about her feelings. Slowly, she lost interest in pleasing him. Instead, she became cold and argumentative.
Mark was in his own world and had no idea what happened. He felt disillusioned and confused. His attraction for Pam was decreasing rapidly.
Good marriage advice
When Pam and Mark showed up in my office, I explained the following to Mark. It didn’t take long for Mark and Pam to improve their marriage. With a bit of marriage help at just the right time, they became the two loving turtledoves they once were.
A woman’s nature is to nurture
An emotionally healthy woman naturally wants to please her husband. However, this “feminine instinct” reveals itself only when she feels “loved and cared for.”
A man makes a good wife
When a man criticizes his wife, disrespects her, and gets angry, she stops nourishing. In place of caring and helping, she opposes — typically with words and withdrawal of affection.
Practical marriage advice for men:
- Show gratitude. Thank your wife frequently for all she does.
- Seek her out. Call her on the phone, ask her how she feels, ask if she needs anything.
- When she is upset, take time and listen to her. If she is upset with you, be strong and listen. Try to understand without commentary. Ask questions.
- Never get angry, and always be kind.
- Make her feel that she is your TOP priority in all your interactions with her.
If you are a woman, pass this advice on to your husband. If you are a man—memorize it. This piece of marriage advice can save your marriage and protect your family.
